Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
