my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
