I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
