She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
