You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize