i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
