Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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