just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
