I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
