are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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