This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
