she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
