Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
