my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
When did we convert life to cartoon?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
