remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize