he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
