Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
