I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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