That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
