id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
