out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize