mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile