in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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