Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
