YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
