why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
