I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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