8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
