the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
