Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
