my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
