I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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