yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
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I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
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i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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