I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
