So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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