How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
