I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
