I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
