dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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