Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I love black thongs
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
