I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
