I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
