CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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