So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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