miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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