fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
