everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
