Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
