WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
