this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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