That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
