drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life