Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.