Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.