Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
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there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
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the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony