I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
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I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
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He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd