Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Come see our sink grown plant.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.