ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize