your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Help. Why am I so naked?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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