the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
