guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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