The police scanner is talking about you again....
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
