you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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